GUIDE TO SEX BOOK: Foreword
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What does sexual pleasure exists for and what does it regulates in our lives?
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Century after century people tried to fight their sexual desires and it produced terrible side effects of shame and abnormality in people's minds, replacing warm true feelings with the early Hollywood style pseudo-romantic fake.
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Bedtime Story No.1: Body Art
Hi, my name is Patricia and I am 37 years old.
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I decided that he even deserved to see me naked.
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"You thought I was a maniac?" he asked, sitting next to me.
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Fernando undressed me. He said that he always offers that service to female clients. Believe it or not, it made me jealous.
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"Yes" I said without being too specific about what I liked more, the flower or his hand between my hips.
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I completely lost sense of time. He was driving me crazy, and he knew that. What kind of a policeman was he? Then he stopped and I felt like somebody had taken my favourite toy away from me.
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"Turn back, please," he said, "I want you" In just a second he was...
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History, Philosophy and Beliefs
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Starting from early paintings by prehistoric men discovered on cave walls showing scenes of sexual intercourse alongside hunting scenes sex is featured in the religions and beliefs of civilisations.
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Let us start our journey from a place not often associated with sexual rituals - China.
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This introduction is needed for us to understand the next part, the Tao of Sex.
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It was believed that having sex in a special way, which includes regular orgasms, interactions of energy and some procedures like acupuncture, life could be prolonged and even immortality reached.
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But let us move from the Far East to the cradle of civilisations that later became a basis of the modern Western world.
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We will return now to the East, this time India, and mention probably the best-known sexual book that has reached our times - the Kama Sutra.
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In European medieval times there were variations of sexual behaviour and approaches are very dependent on the country and the century. But almost everywhere it was a "dirty" act that was not really something people should think and talk about. Many blame religion for this but we would not follow this.
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Is sex for you joy and pleasure only? Are you completely free from guilt about doing something bad?
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We believe that, in our time of rational scientific approaches to many aspects of human life this ancient description of lovemaking is more romantic and exciting than anything else.
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If you really want to enjoy your relationship in full, then nothing should be in your mind that could spoil it.
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Bedtime Story No. 2: Hot Chocolate
My name is John. I am 28.
Some women find me attractive, some not; I mean it's a very usual situation.
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I gently pushed her away while saying: "Look, Shona, stop it. I can't do that, you know... Go home, please!"
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"There won't be next time," she said in a small voice. "Please, can you just listen to me? I'll go afterwards, I promise."
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I surrendered, watching her taking off her clothes right in the middle of my messy living room.
I was completely knocked out. I couldn't move, my penis was pulsating under the soft cover; I was very close to another blast of orgasm.
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One day she called me: "John, I passed my exams! I am going to be a student! You don't mind if I go away, do you?"
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Literature and Art
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For centuries (if not millennia!) art and literature have explored the field of human relationships. Erotic and romantic, historical and action themes - almost all areas touch the subject.
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Early erotic literature came to us in works of Apuleus (The Golden Ass), Petronius (Satiricon), Longos (Dafnis and Chloe) and other Greek and Roman writers. Read them and see how much the world lost when the classical age was over.
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Before we go any further we should draw a line between erotic and pornographic.Sometimes this might look difficult but in fact it is very easy.
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. pornography is not about WHAT is being pictured or written but about WHY it has been done.
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Pornography is an explicit representation of sexual activity that is aimed only at human reproductive instincts and used solely to stimulate those instincts.
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Whenever you see a person with his or her own thoughts and feelings, instincts and emotions, behind the image or description then it's art not porn.
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Bedtime Story No. 3: I never thought it could happen to me
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My father gave me a blue Jaguar with a young driver - imagine! His name was Tony.
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We were sitting and drinking coffee, when he asked: "What would you do if I took you to my bed?"
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"Uh!" He smiled, "It's because I didn't follow the usual scenario! Dance, kiss, words about how wonderful you are! Kissing breasts then belly and
getting inside!...
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I said "Yes" and nothing more. He grabbed my legs, pulling me forward.
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I thought it would last forever, he was holding his orgasm for about fifteen minutes, and then he surrendered.
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I guess he has got other girlfriends as well, I can feel it, but when I ask, he says: "No".
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Dialog
between partners: HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR YOUR SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS?
When we are trying to sort out our relationship with husband, wife, or lover it often results in failure. Why? Because the main mistake we make is trying to convince our partner that we are right, and he or she is wrong.
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1. "We used to love each other at the beginning, but then it all went wrong. Maybe it wasn't love, but a mistake."
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2. "I guess we still love and care about each other, but our sexual and emotional life is so boring!"
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...being an adult doesn't mean being boring.
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3. "I love him/her, but jealousy is poisoning our lives"
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Yes, it will poison your life and your relationships, and such relationships have no future... That is why it is so important to stop the destruction.
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4. "We probably still love each other, but domestic routine is ruining our relationships"
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We are not going to teach you how to organize your life according to your needs - there are many excellent books and talk-shows around - but one thing is absolutely clear: if you and your partner live under pressure, you both do need to ORGANIZE your life.
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5. "I think I can find a better partner, than him/her. Am I right?"
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Now is the right time to show what such sexual dialogue may look like.
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Listen carefully, you might ask occasional question, but be very tactful.
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"Do you want to know me better?" He might answer "Yes" but you should watch for his reaction
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The real disappointment can hide behind some unimportant problems so if she is arguing with you about who will wash dishes that may in fact mean: "If you can't make enough money to make our life easier then at least you can go and be useful in the kitchen".
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5. Ways of communicating: Quizzes. Wall-charts ("I like" and "I don't like"). Striptease. "Card games". Contrast
games.
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Everyone has their way and you have yours. And you have a power to change your life from a black and white picture into a MAGIC RAINBOW.
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Bedtime Story No.4: The Apocalypse of love.
Hi, my name is Arthur, I am single, and I probably will stay like this for the rest of my life.
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She came later, the woman I seriously fell in love with.
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She phoned me at 2a.m.: "You've been sleeping!" She was fuming, "How could you sleep, if you've just proposed to a woman?"
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I tried to do what she asked me to do, still leaving her unsatisfied.
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That thought was tearing me apart; my life now was nothing but destruction and pain.
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The girl was on my doorstep right on time. She looked nice and clean
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"Why?" She suddenly cried
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"No," I laughed, "I have a date with my wife." Pete looked at me as if I was a dinosaur.
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I was watching in horror, trying to recognise them in the strong light of the projector beams.
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"You'll see. Maybe you'll hate me after, but maybe it will shock you so much that you forever forget how to poison yourself with jealousy. Then it will be up to you to decide."
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I started to realise what exactly was in her mind and why she had brought those strippers with her.
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She screamed from an upcoming orgasm, holding his head
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The show was OVER.
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Do I still love her? No. I love nobody.
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Sex Schools
Sex schools are a recent invention of Western culture, well only if you forget about oriental "schools of love"
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People think that those schools teach some incredible and irresistible sexual techniques, together with changing the attitude of couples towards lovemaking.
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Why, you might ask, does this easy technique work and why do schools get such publicity?
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Predictable outcome effect
. Placebo effect ...
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So does it work? Yes, it does, not in all aspects but in many cases it works well. Do we recommend it?
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If you read this book, you might find other ways to joy and pleasure as well.
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Bedtime Story No. 5: The open door
I've always lived in apartments, all my life.
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Closed doors were the part of the landscape on my floor.
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''I am Sue. What do you want me to call you?"
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Her body was pushed against mine and I felt that she was very slim with small firm breasts but her hips were wider than I'd expected.
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She was moaning louder and louder, then suddenly she pushed me away. "Now it is my turn,"
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Suddenly she stopped and said: "I want you now. But
can I be on the top? You are too heavy for me?"
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When I'd got dressed she walked me to the door.
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Sexual Techniques
Physiology
We will give you a very short introduction to male and female genitals and sexual physiology.
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We have tried to give some information here especially for men that are not very experienced in all this, as they need to know at what stage their partner is to avoid many mistakes.
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Oral Sex
Very often the words "sex", "love" and "technique" may seem to contradict to
each other
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Anyway, we are leaving it entirely to you: whether you read on your own, or with your partner, ENJOY!
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Oral sex: Men to Women
The oral technique is something we have received the highest number of questions about. There are many "tutorials" available on the Internet but most of them are based on simple (and wrong!) clichιs from cheap porn movies.
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I can't do it! It's dirty there
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What do I need to do before?
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Oh, many things or nothing, that depends on situation but as a rule of thumb and if you are new to it then shave!
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How to start? What are the very basics?
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Do NOT talk! Don't follow what you see in porn and do not talk at all. Things like "Oh, baby, you are sooo tasty
" can destroy all her enjoyment because you are making love not eating.
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When you see that she is ready for more as she is spreading her legs wider and moving towards your movements then
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keep the rhythm and pressure steady.
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If your tongue can slightly vibrate then it will be even better.
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Wow, that was great! But can it be less basic?
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Yes, it can! The lesson above only opens you a door to oral pleasures and you may want to try it again and again but you may also
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The next finger technique is much more unusual so TALK ABOUT IT FIRST and only if both agree then use it but
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I've learnt that! What is next?
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Oral Sex: Women to Men
"This one is an easy part" - some of you, dear Ladies, might say. No, it is not.
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Simple but effective.
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So this was the SIMPLE method! Do you still think it is as easy as shown in the movies?
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Variations and tips.
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So the main thing you can do is to try and use your imagination and all the knowledge you get from reading this chapter.
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Bedtime Story No.6: Turning point
People use to call me a "strong woman" - well at least when I was around. But behind my back they called me a "bitch".
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I felt almost nothing but enjoyed becoming "officially" a woman. We had sex a couple of times afterwards but then decided to split
...
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"Well, I can't say that you are a popular guy; otherwise I would have known you."
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"Go on, undress me now!" I've ordered. He slowly unbuttoned my jeans and asked: "Are you sure?"
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"Oh, grow up! Let's go to bed now!" I was loosing my patience.
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I didn't know I could get so worked up from such a simple thing.
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"I want you! Now! Take me!" I managed to scream. But he shook his head and continued.
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"What was that?" I asked. "I just wanted to make love to you," he said.
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I don't know what happened and I don't know who I am anymore.
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Manual Stimulation or simply - cuddles.
Hands, lips and the whole body are words and sentences in a language of pleasure.
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We've always wondered why we try to get so clever about all aspects of sexual pleasure but often follow a simple foreplay pattern that never changes?
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For Him
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The first thing you should remember when approaching your partner is that you are NOT playing a romantic lovers in a movie but you want to give and get pleasure.
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Let us try one simple scenario.
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For Her
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There is a common myth that says: "men do not pay too much attention to cuddles and love to go straight to business". For some men it is true but
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As we have done before, let us set out a scenario so you will get an idea.
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And, as usual, some tips to make your imagination work and create your own lovemaking scenario.
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Bedtime Story No. 7: Teddy Bear
I love my old cuddly toys. Saying that is OK, isn't it? But what if you are a 29 year-old male
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"Lucy will now work in your department. Take good care of her, she is a very promising young lady."
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I rushed to tidy up my place. In less than thirty minutes the doorbell rang. She was standing there with
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"Do you really want me here? To sleep with you in one bed? Is that what you want?"
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She went down on her knees unzipping my jeans. In a second...
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Her eyes were shut and she let me to take her top and skirt off but
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Now I started to explore her curves.
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I had a wonderful and strange feeling that she had been made for me by a special request.
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Her vagina started the crazy dance of orgasm not leaving me any chance to last longer.
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And at last about IT! Coitus (Intercourse)
You might ask why we are putting such an important thing as coitus at the very end of our discussion of techniques?
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Well, when women and men are asked (in quite a subtle way to avoid emotional considerations) what gives them the best physical pleasure, then strange statistics show that intercourse comes
after oral sex.
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Coitus is one of the most important parts of emotional closeness between partners.
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There are many positions you can try. Just take...
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You control how your penis is moving inside her only to a certain point and then Mother Nature will take full control.
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For some women vaginal orgasm is not so important, especially if they have a chance to come some other way.
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At the same time women do not always want to be passive partners and want to show their feelings as well. Give them that chance...
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There is no universal way or position that will give the best pleasure for both of you, so try and experiment.
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Simultaneous orgasm of partners during coitus is NOT something you should try to achieve by all means. If it happens, it's OK, if not then its OK as well.
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Bedtime Story No. 8: Jokes
Many years ago one of my older friends told a joke
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"When a girl gets married the only thing she wants is to change everything about her husband"
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Then one of my wife's girlfriends started to show some signs of affection to me
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"Don't look so miserable Brian, I am not going to bite you or
am I?" She whispered into my ear one night when
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"So you had a crush on me?" That was a surprise of surprises.
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I was trapped. Jenny would never believe that it was
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My poor girl, I was already feeling guilty, although
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She moved her hand down and when she touched it then it was my turn to moan.
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That feeling when you know that her pleasure is in your body, that you can give it to her and take yours at the same time. Feeling that with every movement you are both getting closer to orgasm and that it will be your gift to her and her gift to you.
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"So, Brian, why are you cheating at me with my best friend?"
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Mystery of the G-Spot
Not long ago (in 1950) Dr Ernst Grafenberg discovered an interesting medical phenomenon. He insisted that all women have got a special area in their vagina which can...
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If you can feel it then, probably, you have found it. So what next?
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We will show you a simple but effective technique that allows you to understand how sensitive her G-Spot is.
Try it and talk about it with your partner. If you both like it then nothing should stop you from enjoying one more element in the endless ways to sexual pleasure.
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Sex Toys
Sex toys are wrongly considered by many people as something you only use when enjoying self-sex - masturbation. This is not true.
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ONLY use sex toys and "helpers" you can buy from good specialised sex shops, as those articles should, in most cases, have passed some special tests and therefore should be safe.
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Dildos and Vibrators
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A woman may feel too shy (and many men do as well!) to use a dildo or vibrator in front of her partner.
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And yes, you can use a vibrator for him as well!
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Clitoral Attachments and Slide-In mini vibrators
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Miniaturisation of sex toys has been a recent fashion
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"Oriental Necklace" or beads
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This possibly one of the best lovemaking toys you can use and it is made to prolong an orgasm! The interesting thing is - it works.
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Special Toys for Men
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They are mostly straightforward things and are usually attached to the penis.
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Bedtime Story No. 9: NO NAME
I am Alice. I am 34 years old, with two wonderful children.
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I think because we were still very young, our relationship went in a completely wrong direction. After having the second child it was were totally destroyed.
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Everything was perfect, until I began to receive those letters.
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I see you in my dreams every night. You may ask, where this obsession is coming from? I'll tell you that in my next letter. Wait for it.
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After three weeks of silence I finally received the next letter...
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I couldn't believe it! He says how much he likes me, but he didn't say a word to the police?
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Two letters in one day? I opened it and started to read...
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But there is something I should tell you. About the dream I had last night.
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"Do you want to get into me now?" she asked.
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"Open your eyes," I said. She did. I saw nothing, only an empty darkness of two brown circles.
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I want to meet you. Please don't be scared of me
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He is not the easiest person to live with. He is my pleasure and pain, sadness and happiness...
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Autoeroticism
This is a good name for a chapter in order to prevent too many blushing faces.
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Autoeroticism or masturbation is giving pleasure to oneself when no other options are available.
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"You'll go blind, hairs will grow on your palms
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Recent surveys show that about 98% of man and 92% of women have masturbated, starting from a very early age.
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In this chapter we will teach you how to masturbate!
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Unlike many boys young girls often discover masturbation by accident.
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For many of them it is wonderful and scary at the same time as not many are ready for it or know what it is.
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Many sexologists strongly believe that early female masturbations are physiologically very important part in preparing girls for their future sexual life.
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Relax and enjoy, give your body what it wants in this safest sex possible.
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How do you do it? Do not laugh! If you guessed how many times we were asked that question you would not laugh...
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This is it - simple, enjoyable and great!
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I have known that since I was 12! Anything new?
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At the end of this chapter we will simply give some very special tips that other women agreed to share with us.
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We think any one of you could add hundreds of tips here and they are all for getting sexual pleasure and getting it in a way you want it.
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Bedtime Story No. 10: Now I know!
It may sound strange but at 26 years I still don't know if I am having orgasms or not.
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"Are you still into your "quest to come"?" She said.
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"I can help, but only if I fancy you."
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Then I decided - nothing had helped me, I was going crazy, I couldn't have normal sex so what was I going to lose?
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"Oh, you must be Silvia", he said. "I am James, come
in."
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"But the real question is: do you want to have them?"
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"In that case you have to promise me to do exactly as I tell you."
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"Now you will undress and sit back in the armchair."
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I noticed how wet I was, wetter than even
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I was feeling an unbelievable sensation between my legs.
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When I opened my eyes I saw him, standing over me looking with admiration.
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"Thank you." I said. " And I am really sorry for being so nasty at the beginning."
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Scenario
We are including a full scenario for you to try. Some elements of it have been discussed already but this one is just a "live lovemaking". Couples that have used it liked it a lot. It is simple but carries a lot of emotional closeness and sexual pleasure.
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Frequently Asked Questions
I can only have sex in the dark. Is it OK?
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I don't have orgasms but often fake them. Should I continue doing this?
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Can my partner guess that I am faking?
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What should I do to give her multiple orgasms?
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I want to have more sex with my partner. Should I try Viagra?
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As I get older I feel like my ejaculations are weaker. What is wrong?
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Are condoms with ribs and other shapes better than natural ones?
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I've heard about pheromone attractants. Do they work?
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I've heard bigger breasts are more sensitive, is it true?
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I can't find her clitoris, what is wrong?
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After word
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Bedtime Story No. 11: ANTONIA
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My name is Andrew and I am 29. I have a girlfriend, she lives in my house and she is my Love. I brought her home from Italy only two months ago.
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Oh poor old-fashioned mom! She still believes in such nonsense.
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My father was right. Italia appeared to be one of the most beautiful and glorious places in the entire world.
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"I don't think I can afford it," I said, looking at the picture.
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A young girl was standing on a doorstep, looking at me.
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"Is it so bad?" I asked. "I mean, being traditional?"
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I knocked on the door and waited. Nobody opened. I pushed. The door was open.
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I got an immediate response. It felt like she knew what would happen if she would come here.
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"You are a very good lover," she said. "And my first"
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"Look what you've done," she laughed. "Isn't it great? Oh, don't worry, nobody will know."
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"Please, don't stop!"
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What could I wish more than to see Antonia again?
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For me it was obvious that what had happened a week ago wasn't just an adventure. I felt like a crackpot in my dead-end obsession with that Italian belle.
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"... Had sex? You don't have to find the right words for me. I am not a schoolgirl," she said. "I am fine. Do you want to
do it again?"
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"No!" she laughed. "I didn't mean that! Let's go swimming to Trasimeno tonight. It's a magic place."
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"Shall I leave my pants, or
?" I asked.
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I must be dreaming. No. It was her. She was here, alive!
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Through the sea of pleasure she was giving me I thought that it was too good for the first time.
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"Promise you won't laugh," she said.
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"I don't know if I
Nobody did this to me before"
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She broke the silence, moaning and saying something to me.
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"Don't stop, please, please," she whispered, breathing heavily.
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It lasted more than an hour. Sometimes she almost...
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I knew Antonia would come with me. There was no other way. And I also knew that now, with her in my bed, things were going to be
different.
From now on they must be just the way I always wanted.
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